Hi John,
In case you have some time to read a random blog post this morning before you begin the grind at work, I thought I wanted to share this blog post with you.
http://www.farbeyondthestars.com/how-to-destroy-your-past-lives-starting-over/
I just saw the link on another random person's twitter account. And I must have read it three times, because I can't decide if I like it or not.
Well, I suppose to a certain extent I like it because it's thought-provoking, but I find I can't decide whether I agree with the writer's points or not.
When I think of someone who collects souvenirs and memories, that person would definitely be my Mom. She will keep mementos of anything - receipts, 3D glasses, plastic bags...anything! It's always a struggle for her to throw things away, but I know she is trying. But is there anything wrong with holding on to the past?
Part of me says, yes. If all a person will ever do is hold on to that good thing they had when they were 17. But, sometimes what fuels us is the memory of that happy Christmas we had when we were 8.
The blog goes on to say, 'the past is dead.' And it tells us to love the present. I am a firm believer in loving the now as well, but it just hurts when he says that what you had with friends 7 years ago, you will never have it again. I was talking to another friend about holding on to friendships because of nostalgia, even when you no longer have anything in common. Does that make it a true friendship? The ones you are not in touch with for years, then can sit down and talk for hours over a cup of coffee?
And one of the strangest, yet intriguing ideas - the hydrogen atoms (or something) in our body renew themselves every 7 years. So that means, every 7 years we are completely different persons. I know where I was 7 years ago, and I get a strange sense of comfort knowing that I'm a completely different person now from who I was back then. It almost 'justifies' moving on with one's life.
Anyway, as you can tell I really just wanted to talk about it with someone.
Take care my friend!
Ange
I responded, after reading the blog the next day. Here goes:
Hey my friend, apologies for the late reply. I can't access gmail. You might want to send emails to my San Miguel address moving forward :)
Anyway, the blog post you shared woke me up! I may have read it while I was on a different plane of consciousness - meaning, I was half awake, half asleep - but one thing struck me. He's milking the most common yoga principle for all its worth! Ha ha ha. He lifted it out of context and tried to connect it with such big, complex concepts.
Just like you, I liked it somehow because it was compelling enough - but upon closer scrutiny, it's a hodgepodge of concepts that may, at the surface, seem to connect with each other, but would be referring to entirely different bodies of idea, or even schools of thought when viewed independently.
I dunno. If I get it right, he started off by saying one has to live in the now, and if I remember my yoga classes correctly, 'living in the now' actually means focusing your energies while doing the meditative exercise and finding your center so you could maximize the experience. Strictly speaking, I believe it refers to setting aside the concerns, both mundane and the major ones, of the day and giving
yourself the opportunity to relax.
On a higher level, I think yoga teaches the discipline of being focused and not letting everyday concerns drag you to hell (hah just had to find a use for that stupid movie title!)
As regards holding on to memories, I agree that it can become maladaptive once it starts controlling how you live in the now. As long as you make good use of the past, either as reminders of good memories or of lessons learned, then I say you are on your way towards becoming a much wiser person.
I am a believer that we are the sum of all our experiences. New hydrogen atoms or not, our brain doesn't reboot every seven years. Our memories can fail us, fine, but when life happens, you know that you have been changed forever, and you'd always remember that critical turning point. In this case, you live in the now, but you acknowledge the fact that you are a product of significant life experiences.
I guess it's always a matter of perspective. Some friends, I have kept over the years while the others, I conveniently forgot about or were just erased by time.
Hmmm tomorrow I'll share with you some more insights.
Take care!
John
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Part Two - July 26 / August 16 Correspondence
Hey Angela!
Thank you for your response. I published the first part of The Letters to Angela / Dear John Series a few weeks ago. I was honestly expecting a flood of comments. Ha ha ha. They never came. But I am nonetheless thrilled by the fact that we are collaborating on something. I just might use my Facebook and Multiply sites to promote our series! He he he. Unless you want to keep it in Blogspot :)
I was just re-reading your response and one term struck me: online real estate! Such an appropriate label since from my point of view, our various 'personal' sites have become a venue to pawn ourselves, or rather, the sanitized and hipper versions of ourselves to the public, don't you think?
I suddenly remembered this article that was highly circulated on FB a few weeks ago (http://www.wired.com/magazine/2010/06/st_essay_tweet/), which talks about how people use online sites as tools to drumbeat the fact that one gets to eat gourmet cuisine, hangs out with interesting people in the most happening places or simply has such high voltage purchasing power. The article posits, and I quote:
"...Immodesty thrives on Facebook and Twitter because they enable what social scientists call self-enhancement — the human tendency to oversell ourselves. But they also nurture a sense of mutual admiration that the offline world often does not. Social networking tends to create self-reinforcing spirals of reciprocal kindness. You like my cat pictures, so I celebrate your job promotion. The incentives tend to be stacked against negativity, and in some cases implicitly discourage it. In the Facebook world, we can Like or Hide things, but there’s no Dislike button — even when you need one.
In fact, James Fowler, a political scientist at UC San Diego who studies social networks both online and off, has shown that positive networks built on cooperation and altruism tend to thrive, while negative ones tend to dissolve. “Apparently, evolution favors behaviors that cause us to disconnect from mean people,” he says. And why not? In a modern world that bombards us with reasons to feel bad about ourselves, maybe there’s room for a little extra public celebration when things go well..."
I know for a fact that there are some companies that actually espouse the use of a Facebook page as character reference, which I think is not exactly flawed but rather incomplete, to say the least. Having said that, I agree with you that social networking sites have become too much of a subsitute for most people - they tend to be uncomfortable with actual forms of online intimacy such as e-mail. Ideas and messages have become too short. Remember Ashton Kutcher's tweet when ex-girlfriend Brittany Murphy died? I hope he sent some flowers and went to her necrological services or whatever, because I just don't think a tweet is enough to show how much you care about someone (that's what he wanted to communicate in his tweet) - unless the guy has some really valid reasons.
As regards your dilemma, I believe it takes certain life experiences, personalities and how one views the exercise of writing (in my book, you either you see it as an artful way to communicate or one of those chores that bores - haha rhymes!) to make you cherish personal, e-mail conversations with friends. Or, it can also happen that life punches you on the nose and forces you to stop and smell the frickin' flowers to prevent further bleeding. I dunno. It all boils down I think to how much you value someone. But then again, people can get really busy being busy sometimes.
Anyway, can I just share with you how life's been throwing a lot of curve balls my way lately? Fine, fine these suprising situations are helping me define further what I want in life but heck, it gets too much sometimes! I wasn't able to go to work for a day and a half, on two occasions, within the month of June. Had this happened last year, I would have blamed the weather but hey, the fact that I failed twice in my attempt to have a meaningful relationship within the space of six months is an epic fail. Add to that the fact that there are some options coming my way that make me re-think my career path.
I don't know for sure how things will unfold in the coming days but I am now, more than ever, certain of the things that I like: no more mooning over romantic notions of falling madly in love or holding on to the ideals attached to the definitive labels you earn as you navigate through life. Hay. Sometimes, I just hate the fact that we have to grow up. But then again, why resist the inevitable when it does have its own perks, right?
On a much lighter note, last Saturday, I went to CCP to watch CATS. It's actually the Australian production, with Lea Salonga as Grizabella. She was so good. I got sleepy bored at some points during Act One but once they started the second act, I was enthralled. The dancing, the production design and Lea's singing was top-notch entertainment. Do you get really excited watching a Pacquiao fight? I had the exact same feeling of pride when Lea started singing Memory. She didn't look tiny at all when she started singing (she was in heels though, I dunno if it was because she was too short and they needed her to cut a certain silhouette given the size of the stage or 'glamour cats' really wear heels.hehehe. It was a bit weird though)!
I hope to hear from you soon! And let's chat one of these days, so we can talk about the things that put evil smiles on our faces. He he he.
Cheers,
John
Dear John,
Here I am thoughtfully tapping away at my keyboard in the dark, in the middle of our living room. You see, my mother has been here on holiday for almost two months now. Being the good daughter that I am (or would like to be), I have offered her my bed with its wonderful quilt blankets and have opted to sleep on a small cushion on the living room floor. I figure it's the least I can do for someone who carried me for 9 months. I imagine I wasn't exactly the most pleasant load to carry around. ;)
Thanks for the link and sharing such an interesting read. Like you, I am also really intrigued by the delicate dance of online bragging. We see it in all forms, from the discreet, to the blatant, to the "passive-aggressive-nonchalant-I do this all the time but I'm cool anyway without even trying" style. An important aspect to this form of bragging though is that we've become quite used to reading about significant moments in people's lives such that we're able to stomach the ego-stroking; to a certain extent, online bragging becomes acceptable. It all depends on the delivery, and the trend of life updates, i.e. we don't really need to know that our friend has completed a half-marathon every other week, in under 90 minutes.
I know life has been throwing you curve balls lately, but I am confident that at least one of those curve balls has been something worth holding on to. Sometimes, when a string of not-so-positive events unfolds, I ask myself why this sort of thing has to happen. More importantly, I ask myself why I allow myself to admit defeat and let emotions take over. Do you find that when things knock you down, you like to stay on the ground and wallow for a minute? I've had some moments like this and I've decided that it's okay to get knocked down as long as you try with all your might to get back up. I'm confident that whatever is bringing you down will somehow disintegrate into thin air so that you can focus attention on the things that make you feel happy and alive.
But wait, are we really meant to constantly face life like a Happy Care Bear? Not everything really has to be sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows all the time. You are right, we are growing up, and I am feeling it now more than ever! I'm not just referring to the looming responsibilities 'grown-ups' have to face, I was thinking more about the way we can analyse and appreciate the things that matter most to us (and save the petty items for conversations that involve alcohol and inebriation). Where am I going with this? I'm really not sure. All I know is, I've always remembered that a minute spent unhappy is a minute of your life you can never have back again. Thing is, maybe that minute spent unhappy isn't always a minute wasted, when you know that you have the will to turn your perspective into something fresher and more positive.
I just love the word perspective, and the powers the word brings. If the whole world just stopped for a second and tried to see things through the other guy's eyes, think of all the good that could spread in the world! The only thing I wonder is, is the older generation capable of exploring a young person's perspective? I have been holding my tongue lately with some conservative old-fashioned elders who hold quite dated beliefs on religion, relationships, politics, etc. As much as I'd love to engage in healthy debate, and as much as it pains me to pretend to agree with their ideas, I've come to believe that the term generation gap uses the word 'gap' for a reason. And it's probably not very wise to attempt to bridge that gap.
I'm glad you enjoyed watching Cats, I don't know why I skipped that while it was showing here. I was probably busy with my school work. Last Wednesday I watched Wicked with my mom, it was my 2nd time to watch and I thoroughly enjoyed it again. I realised I get very excited from the very moment the conductor cues the first note to the orchestra, and the introductory chords float through the theatre as the lights dim. From that moment alone you feel the energy permeating the stage and the room, and it makes me wish I could become part of the background dancers in a musical - I can't sing, you know that, but perhaps I could just join a dance. I'm sure you'd love it too.
Two weeks since my last semester at university started, and I'm just about ready to hit the panic button (for goofing off during the last two weeks). I will try to stay calm, and perhaps work double time this week so I can catch up. Time to get back to the books for the next twelve weeks!
Take care my friend.
Angela
Thank you for your response. I published the first part of The Letters to Angela / Dear John Series a few weeks ago. I was honestly expecting a flood of comments. Ha ha ha. They never came. But I am nonetheless thrilled by the fact that we are collaborating on something. I just might use my Facebook and Multiply sites to promote our series! He he he. Unless you want to keep it in Blogspot :)
I was just re-reading your response and one term struck me: online real estate! Such an appropriate label since from my point of view, our various 'personal' sites have become a venue to pawn ourselves, or rather, the sanitized and hipper versions of ourselves to the public, don't you think?
I suddenly remembered this article that was highly circulated on FB a few weeks ago (http://www.wired.com/magazine/2010/06/st_essay_tweet/), which talks about how people use online sites as tools to drumbeat the fact that one gets to eat gourmet cuisine, hangs out with interesting people in the most happening places or simply has such high voltage purchasing power. The article posits, and I quote:
"...Immodesty thrives on Facebook and Twitter because they enable what social scientists call self-enhancement — the human tendency to oversell ourselves. But they also nurture a sense of mutual admiration that the offline world often does not. Social networking tends to create self-reinforcing spirals of reciprocal kindness. You like my cat pictures, so I celebrate your job promotion. The incentives tend to be stacked against negativity, and in some cases implicitly discourage it. In the Facebook world, we can Like or Hide things, but there’s no Dislike button — even when you need one.
In fact, James Fowler, a political scientist at UC San Diego who studies social networks both online and off, has shown that positive networks built on cooperation and altruism tend to thrive, while negative ones tend to dissolve. “Apparently, evolution favors behaviors that cause us to disconnect from mean people,” he says. And why not? In a modern world that bombards us with reasons to feel bad about ourselves, maybe there’s room for a little extra public celebration when things go well..."
I know for a fact that there are some companies that actually espouse the use of a Facebook page as character reference, which I think is not exactly flawed but rather incomplete, to say the least. Having said that, I agree with you that social networking sites have become too much of a subsitute for most people - they tend to be uncomfortable with actual forms of online intimacy such as e-mail. Ideas and messages have become too short. Remember Ashton Kutcher's tweet when ex-girlfriend Brittany Murphy died? I hope he sent some flowers and went to her necrological services or whatever, because I just don't think a tweet is enough to show how much you care about someone (that's what he wanted to communicate in his tweet) - unless the guy has some really valid reasons.
As regards your dilemma, I believe it takes certain life experiences, personalities and how one views the exercise of writing (in my book, you either you see it as an artful way to communicate or one of those chores that bores - haha rhymes!) to make you cherish personal, e-mail conversations with friends. Or, it can also happen that life punches you on the nose and forces you to stop and smell the frickin' flowers to prevent further bleeding. I dunno. It all boils down I think to how much you value someone. But then again, people can get really busy being busy sometimes.
Anyway, can I just share with you how life's been throwing a lot of curve balls my way lately? Fine, fine these suprising situations are helping me define further what I want in life but heck, it gets too much sometimes! I wasn't able to go to work for a day and a half, on two occasions, within the month of June. Had this happened last year, I would have blamed the weather but hey, the fact that I failed twice in my attempt to have a meaningful relationship within the space of six months is an epic fail. Add to that the fact that there are some options coming my way that make me re-think my career path.
I don't know for sure how things will unfold in the coming days but I am now, more than ever, certain of the things that I like: no more mooning over romantic notions of falling madly in love or holding on to the ideals attached to the definitive labels you earn as you navigate through life. Hay. Sometimes, I just hate the fact that we have to grow up. But then again, why resist the inevitable when it does have its own perks, right?
On a much lighter note, last Saturday, I went to CCP to watch CATS. It's actually the Australian production, with Lea Salonga as Grizabella. She was so good. I got sleepy bored at some points during Act One but once they started the second act, I was enthralled. The dancing, the production design and Lea's singing was top-notch entertainment. Do you get really excited watching a Pacquiao fight? I had the exact same feeling of pride when Lea started singing Memory. She didn't look tiny at all when she started singing (she was in heels though, I dunno if it was because she was too short and they needed her to cut a certain silhouette given the size of the stage or 'glamour cats' really wear heels.hehehe. It was a bit weird though)!
I hope to hear from you soon! And let's chat one of these days, so we can talk about the things that put evil smiles on our faces. He he he.
Cheers,
John
Dear John,
Here I am thoughtfully tapping away at my keyboard in the dark, in the middle of our living room. You see, my mother has been here on holiday for almost two months now. Being the good daughter that I am (or would like to be), I have offered her my bed with its wonderful quilt blankets and have opted to sleep on a small cushion on the living room floor. I figure it's the least I can do for someone who carried me for 9 months. I imagine I wasn't exactly the most pleasant load to carry around. ;)
Thanks for the link and sharing such an interesting read. Like you, I am also really intrigued by the delicate dance of online bragging. We see it in all forms, from the discreet, to the blatant, to the "passive-aggressive-nonchalant-I do this all the time but I'm cool anyway without even trying" style. An important aspect to this form of bragging though is that we've become quite used to reading about significant moments in people's lives such that we're able to stomach the ego-stroking; to a certain extent, online bragging becomes acceptable. It all depends on the delivery, and the trend of life updates, i.e. we don't really need to know that our friend has completed a half-marathon every other week, in under 90 minutes.
I know life has been throwing you curve balls lately, but I am confident that at least one of those curve balls has been something worth holding on to. Sometimes, when a string of not-so-positive events unfolds, I ask myself why this sort of thing has to happen. More importantly, I ask myself why I allow myself to admit defeat and let emotions take over. Do you find that when things knock you down, you like to stay on the ground and wallow for a minute? I've had some moments like this and I've decided that it's okay to get knocked down as long as you try with all your might to get back up. I'm confident that whatever is bringing you down will somehow disintegrate into thin air so that you can focus attention on the things that make you feel happy and alive.
But wait, are we really meant to constantly face life like a Happy Care Bear? Not everything really has to be sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows all the time. You are right, we are growing up, and I am feeling it now more than ever! I'm not just referring to the looming responsibilities 'grown-ups' have to face, I was thinking more about the way we can analyse and appreciate the things that matter most to us (and save the petty items for conversations that involve alcohol and inebriation). Where am I going with this? I'm really not sure. All I know is, I've always remembered that a minute spent unhappy is a minute of your life you can never have back again. Thing is, maybe that minute spent unhappy isn't always a minute wasted, when you know that you have the will to turn your perspective into something fresher and more positive.
I just love the word perspective, and the powers the word brings. If the whole world just stopped for a second and tried to see things through the other guy's eyes, think of all the good that could spread in the world! The only thing I wonder is, is the older generation capable of exploring a young person's perspective? I have been holding my tongue lately with some conservative old-fashioned elders who hold quite dated beliefs on religion, relationships, politics, etc. As much as I'd love to engage in healthy debate, and as much as it pains me to pretend to agree with their ideas, I've come to believe that the term generation gap uses the word 'gap' for a reason. And it's probably not very wise to attempt to bridge that gap.
I'm glad you enjoyed watching Cats, I don't know why I skipped that while it was showing here. I was probably busy with my school work. Last Wednesday I watched Wicked with my mom, it was my 2nd time to watch and I thoroughly enjoyed it again. I realised I get very excited from the very moment the conductor cues the first note to the orchestra, and the introductory chords float through the theatre as the lights dim. From that moment alone you feel the energy permeating the stage and the room, and it makes me wish I could become part of the background dancers in a musical - I can't sing, you know that, but perhaps I could just join a dance. I'm sure you'd love it too.
Two weeks since my last semester at university started, and I'm just about ready to hit the panic button (for goofing off during the last two weeks). I will try to stay calm, and perhaps work double time this week so I can catch up. Time to get back to the books for the next twelve weeks!
Take care my friend.
Angela
Monday, August 2, 2010
Part One - June 23 / July 16 Correspondence
On June 23, I decided to start a blog series with my very good friend Angela. I had been meaning to come up with something different, I was missing Bekasi, my friends, my old life and so one fine Sunday, as I was browsing through my old e-mails, I noticed that Ange and I had such loooong e-mail exchanges which are too blog worthy not to share. So I sent her below e-mail and I am also printing her unedited response - with her permission, of course. Here goes our first entry.
Hi Angela!
It's been a while since I sent you an e-mail. Words, like a battalion of crafty escape artists had been dodging my attempts at pinning them down. I've been trying to get them fall in one line so I can come up with cohesive, or at the very least, linear thoughts. Thoughts that do not wander from one neurosis to another, or those tweet of ideas that flit from real to imagined - really short and whose veracity (is this word applicable or too shift + F7ish?) I highly doubt.
Anyway, I am writing this e-mail to let you know that I am thinking of starting a new series of blogs, kindof like the 20+ -entries-worth Bekasi Diaries, which I did while I was living in Indonesia.
I was reading through some of the old e-mail correspondence we had while I was assigned in Laguna, which inspired me to collaborate with you. While our topics would conveniently shift from the annoyingly shallow to profound; or the mundane to the whimsical, I just realized there were too many original ideas (well, at least in my book, they are original – screw universality of thought and all that!) that might interest one or two free spirits roaming around the blogosphere. In short, I do believe some of our ideas are too good not to share. Feeling amputs.
I do hope you will agree to join me on this one. Looking forward to get your response soon!
On July 16, Ange replies, which delighted me like anything!
Dear John,
By my standards, this is an embarrassingly late response to your letter. There are no excuses for late responses, at least in my book. The busiest people, caught up in the looping playlist of work-home-work-weekend-work-home-work (get the picture) still have time to check their Facebook accounts each day. I myself have engaged myself in so many versions of online real estate that I'm struggling keeping up with them all - usernames, passwords, not to mention updating them with worthy content!
I started thinking about communication and the many ways it keeps good friends connected. We used to send little emails back and forth, then little instant messages would pop up on our office computers (and these exchanges would last the rest of the day), and then of course there came our longer email exchanges. The spawn of our mundane and deep thoughts. No, I don't think we are the struggling-to-hit-shift-f7 type, we just write how we feel (whether these were mean thoughts to put evil little smiles on our faces, or cheesy thoughts on life and how it's moving forward too quickly for us both). I love that we both have a strong Psychology background, which nurtures our penchant for analyzing people's thoughts and motives. Allow me to share with you a recent experience and series of thought bubbles.
I have come to realize that being away from the people you hold dear makes you cherish meaningful conversation, even in electronic mail form. In my attempt to re-kindle communication among some close girlfriends, I decided to send an email with 'real' conversation, something that did not involve the creation of weekend plans at 'Republiq' (which I hear is a snooty new club). The letter shared some updates on my life here, and requested them to do the same. Unfortunately among the dozen girls I emailed, only two replied with meaningful updates. Both girls (one in Manila and the other in San Francisco) updated us on their lives and loves, and requested everyone to do the same, as no one seems to really update anymore and this is the only way the out-of-towners can feel at home. What disappointed me was not the thought that people are too busy to read or reply to emails, it was the thought that some people believe they are 'too busy' to dig deep into their minds and write something more meaningful than 'see you on Saturday, I'll reserve a table.' The latter response was just one of many similar responses to the yahoogroup thread, by the same girls who didn't respond to my original personal email thread.
I don't like becoming cynical or disillusioned with my friends, I guess no one does. As with most bad vibes, I brush it off, and focus on the brighter side. At any rate, I am over it, and the experience just made me wonder: have we become so accustomed to gleaning updates from Facebook profiles and news feeds, that some no longer feel comfortable with personal emails? What has become of communication? I am glad that for us, we can still sit down and write.
I hope life has been good to you lately. Remember, one must learn to love the now, in order to learn to love tomorrow.
Take care my friend.
Angela
Hi Angela!
It's been a while since I sent you an e-mail. Words, like a battalion of crafty escape artists had been dodging my attempts at pinning them down. I've been trying to get them fall in one line so I can come up with cohesive, or at the very least, linear thoughts. Thoughts that do not wander from one neurosis to another, or those tweet of ideas that flit from real to imagined - really short and whose veracity (is this word applicable or too shift + F7ish?) I highly doubt.
Anyway, I am writing this e-mail to let you know that I am thinking of starting a new series of blogs, kindof like the 20+ -entries-worth Bekasi Diaries, which I did while I was living in Indonesia.
I was reading through some of the old e-mail correspondence we had while I was assigned in Laguna, which inspired me to collaborate with you. While our topics would conveniently shift from the annoyingly shallow to profound; or the mundane to the whimsical, I just realized there were too many original ideas (well, at least in my book, they are original – screw universality of thought and all that!) that might interest one or two free spirits roaming around the blogosphere. In short, I do believe some of our ideas are too good not to share. Feeling amputs.
I do hope you will agree to join me on this one. Looking forward to get your response soon!
On July 16, Ange replies, which delighted me like anything!
Dear John,
By my standards, this is an embarrassingly late response to your letter. There are no excuses for late responses, at least in my book. The busiest people, caught up in the looping playlist of work-home-work-weekend-work-home-work (get the picture) still have time to check their Facebook accounts each day. I myself have engaged myself in so many versions of online real estate that I'm struggling keeping up with them all - usernames, passwords, not to mention updating them with worthy content!
I started thinking about communication and the many ways it keeps good friends connected. We used to send little emails back and forth, then little instant messages would pop up on our office computers (and these exchanges would last the rest of the day), and then of course there came our longer email exchanges. The spawn of our mundane and deep thoughts. No, I don't think we are the struggling-to-hit-shift-f7 type, we just write how we feel (whether these were mean thoughts to put evil little smiles on our faces, or cheesy thoughts on life and how it's moving forward too quickly for us both). I love that we both have a strong Psychology background, which nurtures our penchant for analyzing people's thoughts and motives. Allow me to share with you a recent experience and series of thought bubbles.
I have come to realize that being away from the people you hold dear makes you cherish meaningful conversation, even in electronic mail form. In my attempt to re-kindle communication among some close girlfriends, I decided to send an email with 'real' conversation, something that did not involve the creation of weekend plans at 'Republiq' (which I hear is a snooty new club). The letter shared some updates on my life here, and requested them to do the same. Unfortunately among the dozen girls I emailed, only two replied with meaningful updates. Both girls (one in Manila and the other in San Francisco) updated us on their lives and loves, and requested everyone to do the same, as no one seems to really update anymore and this is the only way the out-of-towners can feel at home. What disappointed me was not the thought that people are too busy to read or reply to emails, it was the thought that some people believe they are 'too busy' to dig deep into their minds and write something more meaningful than 'see you on Saturday, I'll reserve a table.' The latter response was just one of many similar responses to the yahoogroup thread, by the same girls who didn't respond to my original personal email thread.
I don't like becoming cynical or disillusioned with my friends, I guess no one does. As with most bad vibes, I brush it off, and focus on the brighter side. At any rate, I am over it, and the experience just made me wonder: have we become so accustomed to gleaning updates from Facebook profiles and news feeds, that some no longer feel comfortable with personal emails? What has become of communication? I am glad that for us, we can still sit down and write.
I hope life has been good to you lately. Remember, one must learn to love the now, in order to learn to love tomorrow.
Take care my friend.
Angela
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