Hey Angela!
Thank you for your response. I published the first part of The Letters to Angela / Dear John Series a few weeks ago. I was honestly expecting a flood of comments. Ha ha ha. They never came. But I am nonetheless thrilled by the fact that we are collaborating on something. I just might use my Facebook and Multiply sites to promote our series! He he he. Unless you want to keep it in Blogspot :)
I was just re-reading your response and one term struck me: online real estate! Such an appropriate label since from my point of view, our various 'personal' sites have become a venue to pawn ourselves, or rather, the sanitized and hipper versions of ourselves to the public, don't you think?
I suddenly remembered this article that was highly circulated on FB a few weeks ago (http://www.wired.com/magazine/2010/06/st_essay_tweet/), which talks about how people use online sites as tools to drumbeat the fact that one gets to eat gourmet cuisine, hangs out with interesting people in the most happening places or simply has such high voltage purchasing power. The article posits, and I quote:
"...Immodesty thrives on Facebook and Twitter because they enable what social scientists call self-enhancement — the human tendency to oversell ourselves. But they also nurture a sense of mutual admiration that the offline world often does not. Social networking tends to create self-reinforcing spirals of reciprocal kindness. You like my cat pictures, so I celebrate your job promotion. The incentives tend to be stacked against negativity, and in some cases implicitly discourage it. In the Facebook world, we can Like or Hide things, but there’s no Dislike button — even when you need one.
In fact, James Fowler, a political scientist at UC San Diego who studies social networks both online and off, has shown that positive networks built on cooperation and altruism tend to thrive, while negative ones tend to dissolve. “Apparently, evolution favors behaviors that cause us to disconnect from mean people,” he says. And why not? In a modern world that bombards us with reasons to feel bad about ourselves, maybe there’s room for a little extra public celebration when things go well..."
I know for a fact that there are some companies that actually espouse the use of a Facebook page as character reference, which I think is not exactly flawed but rather incomplete, to say the least. Having said that, I agree with you that social networking sites have become too much of a subsitute for most people - they tend to be uncomfortable with actual forms of online intimacy such as e-mail. Ideas and messages have become too short. Remember Ashton Kutcher's tweet when ex-girlfriend Brittany Murphy died? I hope he sent some flowers and went to her necrological services or whatever, because I just don't think a tweet is enough to show how much you care about someone (that's what he wanted to communicate in his tweet) - unless the guy has some really valid reasons.
As regards your dilemma, I believe it takes certain life experiences, personalities and how one views the exercise of writing (in my book, you either you see it as an artful way to communicate or one of those chores that bores - haha rhymes!) to make you cherish personal, e-mail conversations with friends. Or, it can also happen that life punches you on the nose and forces you to stop and smell the frickin' flowers to prevent further bleeding. I dunno. It all boils down I think to how much you value someone. But then again, people can get really busy being busy sometimes.
Anyway, can I just share with you how life's been throwing a lot of curve balls my way lately? Fine, fine these suprising situations are helping me define further what I want in life but heck, it gets too much sometimes! I wasn't able to go to work for a day and a half, on two occasions, within the month of June. Had this happened last year, I would have blamed the weather but hey, the fact that I failed twice in my attempt to have a meaningful relationship within the space of six months is an epic fail. Add to that the fact that there are some options coming my way that make me re-think my career path.
I don't know for sure how things will unfold in the coming days but I am now, more than ever, certain of the things that I like: no more mooning over romantic notions of falling madly in love or holding on to the ideals attached to the definitive labels you earn as you navigate through life. Hay. Sometimes, I just hate the fact that we have to grow up. But then again, why resist the inevitable when it does have its own perks, right?
On a much lighter note, last Saturday, I went to CCP to watch CATS. It's actually the Australian production, with Lea Salonga as Grizabella. She was so good. I got sleepy bored at some points during Act One but once they started the second act, I was enthralled. The dancing, the production design and Lea's singing was top-notch entertainment. Do you get really excited watching a Pacquiao fight? I had the exact same feeling of pride when Lea started singing Memory. She didn't look tiny at all when she started singing (she was in heels though, I dunno if it was because she was too short and they needed her to cut a certain silhouette given the size of the stage or 'glamour cats' really wear heels.hehehe. It was a bit weird though)!
I hope to hear from you soon! And let's chat one of these days, so we can talk about the things that put evil smiles on our faces. He he he.
Cheers,
John
Dear John,
Here I am thoughtfully tapping away at my keyboard in the dark, in the middle of our living room. You see, my mother has been here on holiday for almost two months now. Being the good daughter that I am (or would like to be), I have offered her my bed with its wonderful quilt blankets and have opted to sleep on a small cushion on the living room floor. I figure it's the least I can do for someone who carried me for 9 months. I imagine I wasn't exactly the most pleasant load to carry around. ;)
Thanks for the link and sharing such an interesting read. Like you, I am also really intrigued by the delicate dance of online bragging. We see it in all forms, from the discreet, to the blatant, to the "passive-aggressive-nonchalant-I do this all the time but I'm cool anyway without even trying" style. An important aspect to this form of bragging though is that we've become quite used to reading about significant moments in people's lives such that we're able to stomach the ego-stroking; to a certain extent, online bragging becomes acceptable. It all depends on the delivery, and the trend of life updates, i.e. we don't really need to know that our friend has completed a half-marathon every other week, in under 90 minutes.
I know life has been throwing you curve balls lately, but I am confident that at least one of those curve balls has been something worth holding on to. Sometimes, when a string of not-so-positive events unfolds, I ask myself why this sort of thing has to happen. More importantly, I ask myself why I allow myself to admit defeat and let emotions take over. Do you find that when things knock you down, you like to stay on the ground and wallow for a minute? I've had some moments like this and I've decided that it's okay to get knocked down as long as you try with all your might to get back up. I'm confident that whatever is bringing you down will somehow disintegrate into thin air so that you can focus attention on the things that make you feel happy and alive.
But wait, are we really meant to constantly face life like a Happy Care Bear? Not everything really has to be sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows all the time. You are right, we are growing up, and I am feeling it now more than ever! I'm not just referring to the looming responsibilities 'grown-ups' have to face, I was thinking more about the way we can analyse and appreciate the things that matter most to us (and save the petty items for conversations that involve alcohol and inebriation). Where am I going with this? I'm really not sure. All I know is, I've always remembered that a minute spent unhappy is a minute of your life you can never have back again. Thing is, maybe that minute spent unhappy isn't always a minute wasted, when you know that you have the will to turn your perspective into something fresher and more positive.
I just love the word perspective, and the powers the word brings. If the whole world just stopped for a second and tried to see things through the other guy's eyes, think of all the good that could spread in the world! The only thing I wonder is, is the older generation capable of exploring a young person's perspective? I have been holding my tongue lately with some conservative old-fashioned elders who hold quite dated beliefs on religion, relationships, politics, etc. As much as I'd love to engage in healthy debate, and as much as it pains me to pretend to agree with their ideas, I've come to believe that the term generation gap uses the word 'gap' for a reason. And it's probably not very wise to attempt to bridge that gap.
I'm glad you enjoyed watching Cats, I don't know why I skipped that while it was showing here. I was probably busy with my school work. Last Wednesday I watched Wicked with my mom, it was my 2nd time to watch and I thoroughly enjoyed it again. I realised I get very excited from the very moment the conductor cues the first note to the orchestra, and the introductory chords float through the theatre as the lights dim. From that moment alone you feel the energy permeating the stage and the room, and it makes me wish I could become part of the background dancers in a musical - I can't sing, you know that, but perhaps I could just join a dance. I'm sure you'd love it too.
Two weeks since my last semester at university started, and I'm just about ready to hit the panic button (for goofing off during the last two weeks). I will try to stay calm, and perhaps work double time this week so I can catch up. Time to get back to the books for the next twelve weeks!
Take care my friend.
Angela
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